Star Wars has released their first spin off movie, Rouge One. Out of the currently 8 live action movies, this one carries some of the darkest themes. The movie takes place right before Episode 4 and because of that placement in the Star Wars Timeline, the movie is to answer how we move from the terrible things that have happened in Episode 3 to have “A New Hope.”
There is something that many of the characters have in common which is that they struggle with trust. Though they have different back-stories and come from different places, they have ended up with similar results. They are unable to trust each other. This leads some characters to feel as if they can do nothing and for others it makes them live in fear. Like these characters, I think many of us can feel these ways after so much bad has happened. However, there is one character named Chirrut Imwe who is blind. At one point in the movie he states that he fears nothing, and the reasoning for this is because he trusts his friend Baze Malbus, and throughout the movie he makes the statement, “I am one with the Force, the Force is with me.” If we for a moment think of The Force as a character, he is then saying I am with him and he is with me. Earlier in the movie the character Jyn Erso said, “Trust goes both ways.”
I propose, that this Star Wars movie is making an argument that for us to have hope and for us to bring change we need to have trust in our fellow man. Steven Covey, author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” once said: “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” When this idea is finally applied to the rest of the cast in the movie, the mission finally begins to succeed and the rebellion solidifies. Even though they are going into a battle their trust for each other is what gives them hope. We need to recreate in our homes, schools, and communities a foundation of trust. We need in our lives those who we can trust, and help them trust us. When we enter times in life when we struggle, we need others with us by our sides. We are afraid to trust, because we afraid to get hurt, by doing this we do what Jyn describes as “Never looking up.” We can choose to never look up or we can choose to come together, trust one another and be part of something that has meaning.
At first, I didn’t enjoy this movie, but without this story of trust we are unable to see where “A New Hope” begins. Let us become people who can be more trustworthy and who can give it more to others. Trust goes both ways.
Written By: Timmy Smith
Written By: Timmy Smith
We watch the news. We see the tweets, the Facebook posts. The YouTube comments. We hear about hate, terror, and despair. But just because what sells, what goes "viral," or what gets attention may try to drown out the good in the world, it doesn't mean that goodness is gone. Just because choruses of controversy and scandal shout louder than quiet symphonies of service, it doesn't mean that inside most of us still genuinely want happiness not only for ourselves, but also our family, our friends, and our fellow human beings.
Media can make the world look bleak. They've given themselves this job description, in part because there's a darker side on the surface of human nature that feeds on fear and cynicism. But deep down, we are beings of light. And in the end, since darkness is merely the absence of light, light will inevitably overcome dark.
This is the essence of hope. No matter what you've been through, no matter if you think you're falling apart, it's gonna be okay. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But we believe that someday, somehow, all things will be made right.
Written By: Genevieve Rose
The original title for this was going to be Tattooed and Twenty-ish but that was too narrow because it's about more than tattoos. I'll be twenty-something for quite awhile and I will always be tattooed but this story runs much deeper than the ink in my skin. It is about tattoos but there's more to it than just another young person discussing epidermis admiration, it is also about grace, anchors and arrows.
Life is a balance between letting go and holding on or more specifically, holding fast which means more than getting a grip. It's more to the effect of; even if the rope is causing your palms to bleed and shred do not let go. On the other hand, or maybe I should say on my other wrist, is the term let go which is more than loosening pressure, it's about relinquishing control. Contrary to what I thought before, it is much harder to let go than it is to hold fast. I for one cannot do either of these skills without Christ. My new tattoos or as I like to think of them, my new friends, my permanent pals, with me till death, are so much more than a recent 'Tattoosday' celebration. One of my wrists says "Let Go" and the other has the phrase "Hold Fast" bouncing with my hand as I type in the weird way that I do, which I consider to be a personal trademark. The script is so fine I wish it were my handwriting, instead I'm a writer with the penmanship of a toddler on crack.
Let go is not just a piece of advice or part of how we forgive. It is not just a hit Disney ballad. Let go and let God is more than 'Christianese' it is the best way to move on (giving it to God doesn't mean that it will be easy and it will probably hurt at first, but it is the best way to handle situations.) Life's burdens were not meant for us to carry, they belong at the foot of the cross. Even if you're like me and have a tendency to go back and pick up the concerns you just laid down, keep praying. God sees you. Your effort to honor Him with trust does not go unnoticed. Keep trying, keep practicing; keep praying. You'll be surprised at the level of "let go" skill you rapidly develop. Even if you can't even see, feel, or smell a hint of what you desire, let go anyway because your dreams are not behind you. If they were you wouldn't be dreaming anymore. Walk by faith even if your legs are shaking.
"Change is constant. How we experience change, that's up to us. It can feel like death, or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life."-Grey's Anatomy.
Through my writing for publications like Skin Art and Tattoodo, I've learned so much about the body art industry. I'm still partial to black and gray realism (artists like Paolo Murtasin particular) and for some reason I cannot stop adoring nautical elements like sparrows, stars, and anchors which are popular in the traditional genre of tattoos that I enjoy despite the fact that traditional elements often look like out of place stamps on the skin. The term "Hold Fast" has nautical roots and is used in Navy terminology. It's so urgent and intense. It is a phrase that would be announced as a strict, fervent, command. So what's my connection, do I know someone in the Navy or do I have a sailor's background? No to both, the root of the phrase is what sticks to me, holding on for dear life. When we refuse to relinquish, what is it that makes us bold enough to hold so tightly? Why expend so much effort, energy, and muscle into a belief, a person, or a goal? How do we maintain such a tight grasp?
The balance between holding on and letting go is a faith issue I've been praying through for quite sometime. What could possibly be worth keeping in a death grip? What about the other side of the seesaw? How do we know when to hold on and when to let go? Can we do both? Is it possible to cherish the good despite the bad? Yes it is. That's the part where God's grace comes in. A now ironic post I composed entitled: Let Go explains relinquishing it better detail.
Grace is such a vast concept it's kind of like the sky. It's just there all the time, although, it looks different depending on if it's day or night. There's constant grace, which is new every morning to those who believe. Grace is also there for those who don't believe because it is that abundant and God is that loving. Then there's specific grace for those who either wind up in or are called to dark places in the world. There's also situational grace, which personally applies to different individual's faith walks and those they encounter along life's path. The thing about God's grace is that it moves and if we don't move with it we get stuck. An example would be when things and people that were once smooth as silk feel like driving over endless potholes. Sometimes life is rough and it's about developing strength or testing faith but other times God has already blessed that scenario and the grace is moving so keep up. Believers can get themselves stuck in a place where I was recently wedged myself which is asking for the grace of God to return to something that just doesn't seem to have it anymore. I know now how wrong of an approach that is. Grace is there but it's not meant to be sat on, it can't be misused. My job title is not Director of Grace Application. It's a gift from God so He decides where it goes. Go with the grace otherwise what was once a grace place will just become a gross place.
Piercing through my Let Go tattoo is an arrow and at the end of Hold Fast there's an anchor (arrow and anchor-typical white girl tattoos I know, but there's extensive meaning to those additions so no quick judgment.) You know you are a writer when things drenched in symbolism cause feelings that surpass excitement. The purpose of an arrow is to hit a target. An arrow cannot do what it was made for unless the archer releases the bowstring. An arrow cannot fly as it's designed to until it is let go. In order to fire accurately the archer has be in proper alignment with sight, stance, and grip. To get a good shot the arrow needs to be pulled back to a precise point of tension, that pressure point is called the anchor. How to we know when to let go? When we've secured the anchor. Anchors are designed to keep a boat in place. The anchor prevents any drastic deviation from the proper course of travel. The anchor is security. To a sailor the anchor is sacred. What's our anchor? What can we depend on? What do we have that we know will not fail? "We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain."-Hebrews 6:19 (ESV) This gorgeously symbolic verse would have been a good fit beside by tiny anchor, but the bible is overflowing with words that feed the soul just like these. Instead of deciding which ones to tattoo I'll continue to stuff them all inside my heart instead because there's much more room. Let Go and Hold Fast are simple ways of stating the detailed reminders to stay in the grace places and avoid all the gross ones.
Be well, God bless
You are a permanent response to a temporary problem. You are a solution to nothing. There is nothing good or romantic about suicide, you are a tragedy. You are also, in almost all cases, preventable. President Abe Lincoln, went through periods of intense, paralyzing depression in his life, and he became the best president in United States history. There is a correlation between depressive personalities and creative people, but those who suffer from paralyzing depression often don’t create anything, but it is important to note that people survive depression. In short suicide, you suck. You are not an answer to life’s problem. Depression is hard and terrible, but unlike you, it is not permanent. There is hope in darkness. You are not an escape from problems because you do not lead to anywhere but more heart ace and sadness. You have trapped many in the lie that there is no hope, but WE here believe that love is the cure and the true escape of dark depression. Suicide you are one of the worst ideas that mankind has created, and it because of you many do not meet their full potential. Depression is temporary and you are not. To those who struggle with depression and who are seeking an escape, there is hope.
Written By: Timmy Smith
Love yourself. A sweet saying seen time and time again. Seems easy enough right? For the reader's benefit I have compiled a simple how-to process. Step one: simply pay no mind to the parts of oneself that are 'unlovable.'
Mentally omit shortcomings and/or what is referred to as a checkered past. Do not acknowledge imperfections. Pushing flaws far enough out of mind should temporarily eliminate their existence. Note; repetition will be necessary, time span varies with each individual. Unfavorable features, qualities, and habits should fail to exist for a decent amount of time. Repeat emotional burial process as needed.
Step two: after mock elimination of self-irritation it is critical to follow up with overemphasizing. The parts of oneself that are like-able or at least somewhat easier to love need to be exaggerated, mainly to the individual following this tutorial although, witnesses may be necessary for optimal self-fulfillment. Failure to overemphasize may lead to more frequent mental maintenance. (I.e making good things great things, turning cute into gorgeous, hilarious instead of funny.) Whether or not the good qualities of the individual are truthful is irrelevant. In review: In order to properly "love yourself" one must first disregard all unfavorable parts of their being, which should be immediately followed by overcompensating and exaggerating positive traits fabricated or otherwise, in order to build up a facade of confidence and successfully present a positive self-image to the rest of the world.
This method on achieving self-love is practiced worldwide, including by the person who wrote it down. It certainly does work, although the solution is not permanent. This trap of comparison and compensation comes with a disclaimer of complications much too long to list. It's not necessarily something people consciously choose, it's the curse of humanity. The reality of fulfilling the bright and shiny clichéd "love yourself" mantra is dark and twisty because loving the one who looks back at you in the mirror is not a simple something. We all have issues and burdens and flaws that we believe are unlovable, even if those around us don't see it that way. So what's the solution? Is there a real answer? Yes, of course, speaking as someone who has done the how-to steps and taken many other detours just like it, when it comes to loving yourself, the answer is you cannot.
You cannot love yourself in your own way, by your own standards or in a way that is truly satisfying because the type of love we need as people is much greater than us. What I've discovered for myself and would like to share is that it's not about you loving you because we can't love every little fragment even though that's what we crave. We can't get past all the 'why's' or the could've, would've, should've. So we need someone who can. Someone with a view of the whole master plan. Someone with a clear vantage point. We need the love of the One who stitched us together personally, created us in a perfect image and called it good. We need someone who knows the number of hairs on our heads as well as He knows how many stars are in the sky. What we need, what we will always need is nothing more and nothing less than the irrevocable, relentless, inseparable love of God. We need God's love because it is not something He gives, love is what God is. Just as fire is hot, it doesn't merely give off heat, heat is what fire is made of. Loving yourself is an inevitable side effect of loving Christ. There is no lack in God's love, there is no loss, there is only inexplicable peace. Who wouldn't want that? I do, I need it. I need it because without the love of Christ I'm nothing, or at least nothing I want. Good thing it's free. So go to God with all that you feel is not good enough because love conquers all, and love is all we need. As I close, my resolve is this: I matter to God, that's all that matters.
Written By: Genevieve Rose
Trauma is an interesting concept. Trauma may happen all at once more than once, or little pieces may stack upon themselves until an entire leaning tower is constructed. The root of the word is Greek and it literally means wounded. Everybody has gone through some phase of it. Some of us go through it on a daily basis. Trauma looks different on everyone and it always leaves a scar.
When it hurts we run, or at least we want too. If we can’t run we bury it. It hurts too much to face the skeletons hanging in the closet so we grab a shovel and dig a grave that’s never quite deep enough for all the bones to stay below the surface. It's better than admitting to the many haunting things lurking in the shadows. Sometimes we just drown, we build walls around ourselves thinking it’s for protection, not realizing the walls we built ourselves are now keeping everything good out. We consume ourselves with a distraction like work or a pointless hobby, we choose to love someone we’ll never have feelings for because laying next to the wrong one late at night is better than being kept from sleep by ghosts of the past. Then of course there’s addiction, defined as being enslaved by a habit or practice, a shape-shifter that can appear as watching too much TV or overspending or hoarding that began as collecting. Sometimes whiskey, rum, and tequila are the only three we want in our company when it hurts too much. For just about everyone, this is the how-to, the past, present, or future Survival Guide 101 (author of this article not excluded.) Is it right to choose a multitude of these survival methods? How else will we make it when it hurts this badly? Running and/or burying although cowardly, acts as a numbing agent, like putting and ice pack on a sprain.
Is that all there is when it comes to pain? The best bet being survival? Leaving people no more than a shell of their former self? Wandering around like the marred, grotesque, decaying figures from The Walking Dead, could there be more than just surviving? Could we maybe, get better? When trauma occurs can we recover? How does that happen?
There’s a disorder, a rare one that seems like it would be a great thing to have, it involves pain and not feeing it. “People with congenital insensitivity to pain have a severe loss of sensory perception. They can feel pressure, but not pain, so they are likely to injure or mutilate themselves without meaning to. They might not know they slammed their hand in a door because it just doesn’t hurt. This inability to feel physical pain does not extend to emotional pain – people with CIPA feel emotional pain just like anyone else” (Lambert, Katie, How CIPA Works.) At first thought having a condition that causes immunity to physical pain sounds amazing. Think about it, no cringing over a stubbed toe, no delays because of a headache, punched in the face during a bar brawl? No worries, it might as well have been a pillow fight. Those who have this extremely rare condition may go about their day blissfully unaware of cuts and bruises, but the body knows. People with CIPA are still people, they’re human and their human bodies react accordingly, whether or not the broken bone is felt, it’s still broken. Pain is the indicator for us to seek medical attention. It’s interesting that people with this disorder are not spared from emotional injuries. They too have their share of trauma. Each person reading this has survived the various storms of life. Not a Single person scrolling through the words of my blog Mindless Peace has been defeated, congratulations, humans are resilient; we’re built to make it through.
To survive means to inhale, exhale, and repeat. To thrive means a world more than continuing to exist. It means to go right on living, not shackled by the scars of past trauma, but adorned in wounds of war that prove God heals. Whoever said it was time that heals should have their butt kicked so hard, even if they’re someone with CIPA and won’t feel a thing. Time helps with perspective but it is not a healer, time is like Ibuprofen or Advil, it’s a treatment not a cure.
We often fail to see that pain can be a sign of healing. Take knee surgery for example, the operation is extensive and the recovery is long-suffering. It’s been said that the recovery period is far more painful than the initial injury. A busted knee is a malicious impairment so for the recovery to hurt even more, well that’s really something. As awful as it might be, post-knee surgery is an example of a healing pain. As is working out, being in the gym, lifting and running, it’s not an easy commitment, if it was we’d all look like gladiators. Muscles tear down before they build up. Progress is slow and taxing but the benefits are certain. Beating yourself up in the right ways when it comes to exercise is mind-blowingly satisfying and when it happens on the regular- results are unavoidable. When it comes to fitness, the pain is proof that it’s working.
God Himself says pain does not come without a purpose. “I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born.”-Isaiah 66:9
How we find the purpose depends on how we process, and to do so properly we need to feel. I cannot stand the ugly cry and I’m not trying to be sappy, I’m trying to be truthful. Feeling feelings is the first step in How To Thrive 101. So start, even if the act of allowing emotions is detestable. Feel all the feels of whatever it is you feel, no matter how messy it is it’s okay, because it’s only part of the process not the end. Emotions are not the answer. There's 5 stages and we go through them even when we’re not at a funeral. So go through them, embrace the unpredictable waves of painful change knowing you won’t be stuck in an undertow forever. A calm sea never made a skilled sailor. My first novel entitled My Famous Friend, opens with a Hemingway quote that in part reads; “The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.” Pain is there for a reason. Pain is an indicator that we need help. We are human, not superheroes nor vampires, we cannot shut it off. Pain is meant to be felt. Even those with CIPA, immune to the physical feeling are not the exempt from the effect. Certain pain means healing. Certain pain means victory. Don’t just survive-thrive. Stop existing just to scrape by. Stop avoiding, stop burying, and stop running. Surviving becomes thriving when we start seeing purpose and we know that conquering is possible. We thrive when we treat life like the brutality that is post-op knee surgery and realize; “the degree to which you embrace the pain is the degree to which you will recover.”-Christine Caine
Written By: Genevieve Rose
It's funny how you grow and discover things about yourself, life stage changes and perspective alterations. Perhaps it's not always a discovery, we just had to grow enough to realize what was there all along. Recently I've been thinking about the way people respond to me. Someone will come up to me and we'll talk and then this bizarre shock and awe comes over them, not like they've seen a ghost although I can be frightening at times nor is it because they're stifled by my stunningly good looks, it's more like they're surprised. A dear friend of mine brought completion to this constant train of thought she said; "it's because you're not a victim Jena." God bless the people in our lives that love us so that it is their greatest joy to watch us grow.
For a minute all I could do was silently ponder what she had just put words to. I'm not a victim, I never have been. When you see someone with obvious limitations people judge that. When I'm seen with my four-legged faithful friend walking in a way normal folks couldn't rock even if they tried, they think victim. They must think sad or less than or 'oh life must be so hard' why else would people be so surprised when they learn more about me than what they see? Sidebar, don't ever pity anyone. It does nothing and helps no one, it's an emotion that should evoke compassion if it doesn't it's useless. For all you know the one you feel sorry for could be feeling sorry for you. The wonderful Aussie preacher Christine Caine said it well, "if what you see is all you see, you will never see all there is to see."
I carry life and love and light with me, scratch the surface and you'll see my fire. Victims don't think that way, victors do. If the Hunger Games were based on state of mind I'd win. I'm a winner because I want to be, not in arrogance or like a Charlie Sheen breakdown, but a winning mentality that encourages others to be more than conquerors in their own lives. Are you like that? Do you know how blessed you are? Do you show it? All of us could be more grateful than grumpy, what if we complimented half as much as we complained? We can be selfish or we can be loving. It doesn't have to be a New Year's resolution, just choose right now because right now is your only guarantee, victim or victory?
I believe it is true that "life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it." It's been said that we hold the key to our own prison, and the battlefield is in the mind. Where do your thoughts come from? Is what you're thinking true or is it a lie? Do you know the difference? We can be victims are we can be victorious but we cannot be both. We are all a slave to something. As for me, my choice, my chains, what I am tied to is Christ. I am a prisoner of hope.
Written By: Genevieve Rose
As a child, do you recall the adventures of scoping out your back yard or neighborhood park for the ideal tree to climb? Once you found that perfect tree with the branches aligned in such a way that it provided you with a climbing route that was barely in need of much thought or preparation. You’d take a couple steps back from the tree, look it up and down, and then ambitiously leap for that first branch.
Off you went. Branch by branch. You found yourself scaling higher and higher, and you felt as though you were surpassing the sky and the clouds that surrounded you. Then you have the sudden realization that there was no more tree to climb. You glance down below and become shaken by how high off the ground you are. You were so distracted by the climb up that you didn’t take a moment to ponder upon your route to get back to ground level. We were so consumed by this temporary moment of thrill that we allowed it to prevent us from getting back to square one.
This world is aching.
With the abundance of tension, pain, grief…With the murder of Christina Grimmie, the shooting in Orlando, and beyond…We are aching.
Our country is in a place where we’ve become astonishingly distracted by where we are going, that we’ve forgot where we started. We’ve became so distracted by our own self gain, that we’ve lost the understanding of the importance of who we are in the lives of those around us. We’ve become so distracted by one’s outer appearance and actions portrayed by one being, that we overlook the hardships within and around them. As human beings, we all face struggle. Whether that be emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually. We struggle.
Love has and always will ultimately win. It’s the act of meeting someone where they are at, enabling them to recognize their value in a hurting world regardless of where they’ve been or what they’ve done, and providing them with the encouragement and hope needed to walk through this battle we call life.
To love must be a lifestyle that we are committed to living out 365 days a year.
We must love consistently.
I had recently watched a video clip on my Facebook newsfeed that interviewed a former undercover CIA agent about some of the most powerful moments she experienced in her position. She stated how one of the most vital life lessons she learned through her career in the CIA for 10 years, was listen to your enemies. Though we disagree and don’t always see what others see, we must take a moment to simply hear them out with the INTENT to understand why individuals believe what they believe, practice what they practice, preach what they preach, and support what they support. Until we are able to capture this mindset when it comes to this inability to hear others out and meet them where they are at, we will never discover a starting line that may ultimately lead to unity, acceptance of one another for who we are, and develop a concrete foundation of love for one another in a fallen world.
The problem is not them. It is us.
We recognize the problem but do not respond appropriately.
We must learn to look beyond and within when we come across all people. We must adjust our perspective to a level that maintains our own, but enables us to gain a clearer understanding of that of another individual and where they are in the story being lived.
Love wins in all circumstances. Love will forever outweigh hatred, and always overrides darkness, creating a world that may flourish as one body. When we are able to practice the mindset of that above, it enables us to have a peaceful attitude of meeting people where they are at, and loving on people for who they are.
We must love with the intent of uplifting those around us, meeting other where they are at & for who they are, recognizing that we are all at battle with something, and looking at that as an opportunity to lend hands and walk through this battle we called life, together.
Love becomes contagious and rapidly flourishes when pursued by one body of people.
Our country aches for peace during this time of grief, uncertainty, frustration, fear, and desperate search for hope. Although, hope is already here as it begins with you and also begins with me.
We are experiencing a time in which we are beginning to recognize that we live within a fallen world, and always have. As we recognize these already existent discoveries, we must take the proper precautions and steps to respond appropriately to the world needs, and to the emotional needs and well-being of our people. We must love like we’ve never loved before. We must uplift our neighbors with all we have to give. We must put others before ourselves with the intent of allowing them to feel valued for who they are and to feel loved in every aspect and phase of their life. Together, we must construct a foundation of support and hope for those that have lost their loved ones during these horrific times. May we come back to square one, together and love like never before.
It’s time we come together, pray together, and rise together.
We’ve won before. We will win again.
Written By: Ryan Hesslau
By: McKenzie Schroeder - Student of Morris Community High School
Sometimes you realize you've fallen for someone but they don't like you back... What could it be? Is there something wrong with you? Of course not. There will be people in your life that don't share your feelings. What's so important about this realization? Not bringing yourself down. Don't start blaming yourself, your looks, your weight, etc. You are you. You're unique so don't start saying you aren't good enough or you're not perfect.
Perfect doesn't exist. Society sets standards that bring people down. I promise you, no matter how hopeless your love may seem, it will one day go away. There's someone in my life who I've been in love with for over a year. He is well aware and I even asked him out once. Him and I are still closer than most people in my life. He is one of my best friends and is like a brother. Yes, the feelings still exist, but having him in my life is enough for me. I didn't get mad and say that he had standards I couldn't fit. No, I simply accepted that he just doesn't share my feelings. One day the feelings will be gone altogether and I'll still have my friend. Don't let people get to you. Love isn't as easy as movies and T.V. make it seem. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Male or female, one day you WILL love someone who loves you back. For now, know that I love you without even knowing you. I promise you, you are amazing.
In all honesty I never realized that something so little could be so powerful. All through my middle school and high school career I was severely bullied. It first started in 6th grade and I was just coming out of my shell exploring who I really was. I made a group of friends who I assumed that I could trust but quickly did I learn that I couldn't trust them at all. They took my personal information that I told them, my feelings, my emotions, my pictures and put them all online making fun of me. I would then become slut shamed. This one guy said to me over and over again that he wouldn't stop until I killed myself. So I tried. Which was my first suicide attempt. When I went back to school the kids were worse. They said and put in my locker a photo shopped picture of me hanging my self and popping pills, which led to my second suicide attempt. Then I stopped going to school because we tried to confront the school about it and all they did was suspend kids which only made them angrier and they didn't see the true meaning of why they were getting suspended.
When I was started my 7th grade year I was scared to go back to school because I knew I was getting myself into it all over again, but this time I actually listened. I started drinking and doing drugs and sleeping around because they slut shamed me but what I wasn't realizing that I was turning into what they were saying. Once I realized it was then 4th suicide attempt. I then got into a relationship thinking that all things would be better if I just had someone to love me but that's not what he did. That was my first domestic violence relationship. Then came 9th grade. Which was the worst year, I got sexually assaulted and then once the kids back at school found out they put in my locker who wants to get raped waivers and signs that said I got raped do you want too and so forth. I attempted suicide that year 6 times. The bullying didn't stop. until I left school.
This is one of our new self-help resources available to our Ambassador community. Here we will feature the thoughts, questions, and insight of the our fellow Ambassadors. You can even leave comments of encouragement or feedback to fellow Ambassadors that may be having a tough time.