Love yourself. A sweet saying seen time and time again. Seems easy enough right? For the reader's benefit I have compiled a simple how-to process. Step one: simply pay no mind to the parts of oneself that are 'unlovable.'
Mentally omit shortcomings and/or what is referred to as a checkered past. Do not acknowledge imperfections. Pushing flaws far enough out of mind should temporarily eliminate their existence. Note; repetition will be necessary, time span varies with each individual. Unfavorable features, qualities, and habits should fail to exist for a decent amount of time. Repeat emotional burial process as needed.
Step two: after mock elimination of self-irritation it is critical to follow up with overemphasizing. The parts of oneself that are like-able or at least somewhat easier to love need to be exaggerated, mainly to the individual following this tutorial although, witnesses may be necessary for optimal self-fulfillment. Failure to overemphasize may lead to more frequent mental maintenance. (I.e making good things great things, turning cute into gorgeous, hilarious instead of funny.) Whether or not the good qualities of the individual are truthful is irrelevant. In review: In order to properly "love yourself" one must first disregard all unfavorable parts of their being, which should be immediately followed by overcompensating and exaggerating positive traits fabricated or otherwise, in order to build up a facade of confidence and successfully present a positive self-image to the rest of the world.
This method on achieving self-love is practiced worldwide, including by the person who wrote it down. It certainly does work, although the solution is not permanent. This trap of comparison and compensation comes with a disclaimer of complications much too long to list. It's not necessarily something people consciously choose, it's the curse of humanity. The reality of fulfilling the bright and shiny clichéd "love yourself" mantra is dark and twisty because loving the one who looks back at you in the mirror is not a simple something. We all have issues and burdens and flaws that we believe are unlovable, even if those around us don't see it that way. So what's the solution? Is there a real answer? Yes, of course, speaking as someone who has done the how-to steps and taken many other detours just like it, when it comes to loving yourself, the answer is you cannot.
You cannot love yourself in your own way, by your own standards or in a way that is truly satisfying because the type of love we need as people is much greater than us. What I've discovered for myself and would like to share is that it's not about you loving you because we can't love every little fragment even though that's what we crave. We can't get past all the 'why's' or the could've, would've, should've. So we need someone who can. Someone with a view of the whole master plan. Someone with a clear vantage point. We need the love of the One who stitched us together personally, created us in a perfect image and called it good. We need someone who knows the number of hairs on our heads as well as He knows how many stars are in the sky. What we need, what we will always need is nothing more and nothing less than the irrevocable, relentless, inseparable love of God. We need God's love because it is not something He gives, love is what God is. Just as fire is hot, it doesn't merely give off heat, heat is what fire is made of. Loving yourself is an inevitable side effect of loving Christ. There is no lack in God's love, there is no loss, there is only inexplicable peace. Who wouldn't want that? I do, I need it. I need it because without the love of Christ I'm nothing, or at least nothing I want. Good thing it's free. So go to God with all that you feel is not good enough because love conquers all, and love is all we need. As I close, my resolve is this: I matter to God, that's all that matters.
Written By: Genevieve Rose
This is one of our new self-help resources available to our Ambassador community. Here we will feature the thoughts, questions, and insight of the our fellow Ambassadors. You can even leave comments of encouragement or feedback to fellow Ambassadors that may be having a tough time.